Sales Insight #875: “Overcoming Objections” Is the Wrong Goal!”

Most sales training teaches you how to overcome objections. Which sounds useful, but it’s NOT!

The sad fact is that most of the sales training courses out there aren’t committed to teaching you how to sell. They are only committed to selling you sales training. They don’t care how they sell it, they just want your money. So they promise you the thing you want most, avoiding rejection. 

It’s like thinking that a great marriage is all about not getting rejected on a first date.

Sure, the “yes” matters.

But if your entire relationship strategy is based on not getting shot down when you ask someone out, you’re probably going to have a very weird dating life…and possibly a restraining order.

Sales works the same way. Most people obsess over objections because objections hurt.

• “It’s too expensive.”
• “I need to think about it.”
• “Can you send me more information?”
• “Let me talk to my spouse.”

Those little sentences hit the ego like tiny emotional dodgeballs.

But rather than exploring them, we want ways to avoid them completely. Those turn into:

• Snarky scripts.
• Cleaver comebacks.
• Trickery and tactics.

We seek ways to “handle” the objection so we can get past our own discomfort and close the deal fast.

But here’s the problem:

By the time you’re trying to overcome the objection, you’re already solving the wrong problem.

Objections Are Not the Problem. They’re the Symptom 

An objection is usually not the real issue. They are a symptom of the real issue.

Treating the symptom while ignoring the cause is how salespeople end up sounding like the douchebags we all hate. 

The prospect says, “It’s too expensive.”

So the salesperson launches into value.

The prospect says, “I need to think about it.”

So the salesperson explains urgency.

The prospect says, “I need to talk to my spouse.”

So the salesperson gives them three reasons they should decide now.

All of that is what you get in most “sales training,” but it isn’t really sales training at all. 

It’s emotional wrestling.

And most prospects did not show up to be pinned to the mat.

What you need is what I call Selling Authentically. More on that in a minute.

The Real Question Is: Why Are They Objecting?

If you get objections from one prospect, fine. That’s sales.

People hesitate. People have questions. People need time. People have budgets, priorities, spouses, etc.

But that doesn’t make the problem about them. Sorry to drop this on you, but all their objections are about you.

It’s about the lack of safety you are creating in your sales conversations. Objections mean:

• You need to lead better.
• You need to slow down.
• You need to ask better questions.
• You need to stop racing toward the close before the prospect feels emotionally ready to get there.

Let’s Talk About Lack of Safety

When a prospect starts throwing up objections, they are often saying one of three things underneath the words:

• “I don’t feel safe yet.”
• “I don’t fully trust this yet.”
• “I’m not ready to let you influence me yet.”

That does not make them difficult. It makes them human.

Buying is a very vulnerable thing. Especially when the thing you sell is personal, transformational, expensive, strategic, or tied to someone’s identity.

If you are a coach, consultant, advisor, speaker, creative, service provider, or expert, your prospect is not just buying information.

• They are buying trust.
• They are buying confidence.
• They are buying the belief that you understand them well enough to help them get somewhere they have not been able to get on their own.

Creating that kind of emotional safety takes so much more than a slick, canned response to “I need to think about it.”

Stop Trying to Beat the Objection

The phrase “overcome objections” is the biggest part of the problem.

It makes your prospect sound like an enemy.

• They are someone to defeat.
• They are a problem to get around.
• They stand between you and your money.

That energy destroys a healthy sales conversation.

Even if your words are polite, your intention is honorable, the prospect still needs your help in ‘getting there.’

• They may not know exactly what they’re feeling, but they know something is off.
• They feel managed even if you’re trying to help.
• They feel pressured even if you think you’re being respectful.

They feel like the conversation just shifted from “Do I trust this person?” to “How do I get out of here without making it weird?”

That’s when they say: “Let me think about it.”

Which almost always means: “Let me get away from you so I can feel safe again.”

What to Do Instead of Objection-Handling

Instead of trying to overcome objections, start easing them earlier. That means you do not wait until the end of the conversation to create trust; you start the conversation with trust.

• You make it safe for them to tell the truth.
• You make it safe for them to have doubts.
• You make it safe for them to say no.

And ironically, when people feel safe saying no, they are much more likely to tell you what is really going on for them inside.

Here are three shifts that help.

1. Name the Pressure Before They Feel It

Most prospects are quietly bracing themselves.

• They expect you to sell them.
• They expect you to push.
• They expect the awkward moment where you suddenly become a different person.

Please don’t do any of those.

Instead, lower the pressure early.

You might say:

“Just so you know, my goal here is to understand what’s going on, see if I can help, and if it makes sense, we can talk about next steps. If it doesn’t, we won’t.”

That one statement changes the emotion.

• They no longer feel like they will have to defend themselves.
• They feel like they have an escape hatch if things get too intense.
• They can participate openly and honestly without feeling like you’ll use their words against them.

2. Get Curious Before You Get Clever

When a prospect objects, most salespeople get clever. They use a script, they make a joke, they ignore the upset.

People who are Selling Authenticly get curious.

If someone says, “It’s too expensive,” ask:

“When you say expensive, do you mean it’s more than you expected, more than you have available, or more than you believe it’s worth?”

That question does something important. It separates the objection from their underlying fear.

Because “too expensive” can mean many things.

It can mean:

• “I don’t trust myself to follow through.”
• “I don’t believe you can help me.”
• “I want this, but I’m scared of being taken advantage of.”
• “I need to justify this to someone else who may doubt me.”
• “If I waste money, I’ll feel disappointed in myself.”

Those are all very different from what they actually say in their objections. But if you only listen to their words and treat them all as pricing objections, you miss the human part of the connection.

3. Build the Relationship Before You Ask for the Relationship

Let’s look at this like dating.

If someone gets turned down every time they ask someone out, the answer is probably not, “You need a better closing line.”

The answer is more like:

• Are you creating a genuine connection?
• Are you listening to them?
• Are you making them feel comfortable?
• Are you showing genuine interest?
• Are you asking for too much too soon?

Sales and dating have a lot in common. The emotional principles are almost identical.

Imagine a friend tells you that their date always says, “I hate you, and I never want to see you again!”

Would you try to help your friend come up with a way to overcome that objection, or would you ask your friend, “Just what the hell are you doing on these dates?”

If your sales conversation moves easily, you’re doing a great job creating clarity, trust, and safety.

If your sales conversation is filled with objections, you’re inadvertently creating pressure, confusion, or discomfort.

Not saying that’s your intention, but that’s your results.

The Better Goal

Your goal is not about becoming a master at overcoming objections. Your goal is to create conversations in which fewer objections are raised.

That does not mean prospects will never hesitate. They will. But instead of trying to overcome them, understand them.

• Slow down.
• Validate the concern.
• Ask emotionally based questions to uncover what lies beneath it.

And remember this:

A prospect who objects is not rejecting you. They are asking you to help them feel safe enough to keep going.

That’s not something you overcome. That’s something you honor.

Want to Practice With Me?

If selling ever feels uncomfortable because you don’t know what to say, don’t want to use pressure tactics, manipulation, and all the usual salesy nonsense, join me for the free weekly Selling Authentically Roundtable.

We talk about how to sell with courage, honesty, humor, and zero douchebaggery.

Join here: https://gordon.coach/roundtable